The Nuances
Sometimes I struggle to write these posts. Sometimes I get through an entire story, look back on it, and think, “but what about—?”
Sometimes there are so many layers and nuances and possibilities in each decision I make with my son that I can’t figure how to fit them into a post, let alone explain them with clarity.
But that’s parenting.
For me, parenting is looking at a situation, knowing there are countless possible responses, choosing one, and then later thinking about all the things you were happy you did, wish you had done, or could have done differently.
It’s knowing that your response to this kid in front of you is going to be different from your response to any other kid, even their sibling, because the answer depends on the relationship, context, personality, and everything you’ve built up in knowing this person and your relationship with them.
It’s having more questions than answers.
It’s forgetting, then remembering, then forgetting again, that taking care of you is at the root of being able to take care of others.
And sharing about parenting is almost as nuanced. Trying to fit all the perceptions, possibilities, what-ifs, contingencies, and sharing of my knowledge of the young person I am talking to, and how that informs and affects my decisions, into one post, is tough.
So if I miss something, if an idea lands incomplete for you, if you think of a dozen what-ifs, or buts, or maybes of your own, please share that with me if you’re up for it. Because for me that’s part of it — the reflection, the shifting, the thoughtfulness, the collaboration, someone else catching something that I missed.
My intention isn’t to cover everything, which is obviously impossible. My intention is to provoke and support thought and reflection, for both you and me.
Peace Everyone,
Bria