I'll Be Adaptive
Welcome everyone, old and new, to Parenting Tidbits. I talk about what I call partnership parenting, with a preteen and now with a (semi) new baby. If you need a refresher on what partnership parenting means, that’s in my post here.
In the wild ride that has been the last nine months of my life (since our baby came into the world), I have learned more than I can list here. I have shifted my behavior and expectations hundreds of times. I’ve thought I had it down when suddenly, something shifted again. That’s parenting, isn’t it?
I knew, intellectually, that this is how it is. But now I know it deep in my body. Now I know it instinctually, intuitively, not just intellectually.
One of my favorite things to tell parents (and myself) is that decisions are temporary. We are not bound to stick with one thing. And damn is a baby a good reminder of that. My friend tells me that the best way to grow with her baby is to always be creative. You may think you know how to soothe your baby, or their favorite things to do, only for it to change the next week. Because babies are developing and changing so fast, this makes sense, but can catch us off guard as parents who finally figured out the right combination of noises, light, and bouncing speed to get our babies to sleep at night, only to have it completely change on us two days later.
A little while ago, my baby needed a long involved process to be put back to sleep in the middle of the night. Now, she falls back asleep while nursing (I expect this to change now that I’ve said it out loud.)1
This need for adaptation continues with our older kids. Whether it be how to handle chores, trying a new activity, or staying home because of a surprise pandemic, decisions aren’t permanent. In fact they can’t be; things change around you even when you don’t want them to. Adapting is a cornerstone of parenthood. It can be hard to keep an adaptive mindset because it’s not always something celebrated in society (I.e. sticking with one career choice is seen as consistent, switching career paths throughout life isn’t encouraged), but I think that perspective is shifting.
For now, I will continue to appreciate nursing my baby to sleep easily each night, knowing it can (and will) change at a moment’s notice. When she pulls herself to standing I’ll continue to worry that she might fall and hit her head, even though her body became stable weeks ago. I’ll keep trusting her through all her changes. And I’ll be adaptive. (I’ll be adaptive, I’ll be adaptive, I’ll be adaptive.) She knows what she’s doing. I just haven’t caught up.
I’m curious about stories you have about when you were adaptive with your kids and it felt right. Reply and share them if you’re up for it!
Peace Everyone,
Bria
P.S. “be creative” applies with our kids and in relationships at any age, (though with a baby it may feel like a survival technique and therefore easier to remember or engage in.) Part two will be about adapting with an older kid, so stay tuned!
Spoiler alert: I was right.